My Dog, Libby

It was a sunny afternoon the day a spazz entered my world. (Not Talmage I was three when he entered the world.) Libby has annoyed, frustrated, and loved all of us throughout her stay. This February it will be three years since the day she came here. It was a Friday, Talmage had Kauner over, and we watched some old movie with Bill Murray in it. Libby wouldn't bark. I miss those days. Despite all she has done, I love Libby. She has been a great companion for the past years. I know the future will be great.


Garrett

Yes we can....... or can we???

The title doesn't really have anything to do with the post. I am just trying to say something clever.


Well, anyway, how is everybody? Christmasy?? I hope I am.

Last Christmas, I (gave you my heart) had my Christmas with just my family. Despite all expectations, it turned out to be a great Christmas. But, after my grandparents' triumphant return from Australia, I am having a classic Urmston Christmas!!!

It turns out Christmas can be stressful. And there is just more stuff to add to the stress. Here are some things and people going onto Garrett Urmston's Amazingly Long Naughty List!!!!


People who go see a movie ( Mainly dumb ol' Twilight) just because a guy in it looks " hot "
The Blackberry commercial that has nothing to do with Blackberry's ( would you put ies? )
That guy who wrote the golden compass
Maybe Tiger Woods ( learn how to drive )
Glenn Beck's evil twin ( you haven't heard of him)
Rap music ( nice job talking )
Probably 40% to 50% of kids at my school
That one guy on the Amazing Race that didn't give Big Easy the answer although big easy gave him all his answers.
The dude who wrote Last of the Mohiccans.
And most of all people who judge....................


I think only one person should make a " naughty list." Let's not forget Him during this Christmas.

Your friend, buddy, cousin, nephew, son, brother, and maybe even random stranger,
Garrett Urmston

Is It Just Me?

Guzzling: Gallons or Glasses

 I have a confession to make. I have a serious problem. I am addicted to THE FIZZY STUFF. I think we all know what that is. A delicously prepared Thanksgiving dinner, made by Aunt Linda and my mom and Candice, can only be topped off with a glass or two (or more) of Martinnilli's sparkling cider. It's fancy soda. The first time I had this liquid heaven was when i was man enough to sit at the big kid table. Big kids present: Courtney, Nicholas, Jordan, Mason, Porter, Tanner, and Logan. I guess I became one of them that day. I have always been the biggest of the little or the littlest of the big. I was getting a tad bit frustrated with the younger ones because I don't really have their sense of humor. ( note that this is polite) Any way I was a little nervous, but once I had some sparkling cider, I felt relaxed. I must have drunk an entire bottle. I remember blowing into it after it was empty. I have also found someone else with this love, my great-grandpa Stumbagh. He drank two glasses, and topped off Candice's and Aunt Linda's, and still wanted more. This Christmas I hope to stock up on Martinnilli's. It may be my last chance to have an obsession. Soon, I may be forced into a dreadful thing hated by kids-maturity. Your cousin, son, brother, and nephew, Garrett Urmston   

As I Broke A Leg

 Yes. I broke my leg . I broke my leg Thursday. And Friday. And Saturday- twice. My play went extremely well. I was glad to see that many of you came. I remeber at the Finale of Saturday afternoon, all i could see was Drew's Shining face. As I broke a leg, I could feel the power of the play affecting on the audience, and i could feel it with me. I was probably the best out there..... just kidding. Even though I did do well, I especially liked the performance by Zacharias, portrayed by Chuck Walker. I hoped that all of you that saw it enjoyed it, anbd if you didn't don't tell me about. I was at practices for at least three months. I remember learning my favorite song "Come Deliver Us" my second day. I would hope that you would comment. I get bored with no one commenting. Your buddy, Garrett Urmston

"It's good. It's nasty, though."

 As I type on this keyboard, with drops of tears falling off of my face, I can only feel one thing, which I think is shared among many children after a big holiday. It stinks to have fast sunday the day after haloween, burt it is all for one specific thing. I was my Somoan Sunday school teacher for haloween. For the trunk or treat I dressed up exactly like him, but on haloween notso much. This years Haloween bash was at Aunt Jaime's. After dinner, we all went trick or treating besides porter who is "too cool" to go trick or treating with family and instead went to go see his girl friend. We were playing apples to apples, and Porter was the judge. The advatige was soft, and Talmage said," Man, I wish I had Laurily's lips." The play is getting tougher and tougher, and I hope you come see it. I don't know how it will affect you, but there are a couple of good singers, including yours truly. I feel so left out because the only person kind enough to comment is Aunt Leslie, and she lives in Utah. For people to pay attention to you now you have to post on face book and then someone will come talk tou you the next time they see you in the real world. Holy crap, people. What kind of society is this? I don't even know why this is called GarrettPorter, it's only me.The only way to be social now is to have a face book. I have to end right now so that I don't insult anyone. -Garrett

WASSSSSSUUUP!!!!!!!!!!

What is up my fellow beings of these United States and the rest of the world. Well here I am, and i am gonna rrock you like a hurricane. Well life has bee busy with, first off, P90X (HUH)!!!!!!!!!!!! My mighty muscles are bulging from Plyo, some Core Syntergistics, and even Yoga (HUH)! I am most def. ripped. I did run for president, I lost........................................................................................................
Anyway, I'm over (maybe) but i have been busy,also, with Savior of the World. If you think a Mormon church play is weak then you better not say so or, and I qoute, " I will hunt you down. Seriously, I will." Who said it, who said it? Post if you know. Get it right I will post about you. It is really tiring. I go Tuesday and Thursday from 7 to 8:30, and on Saturday for three hours. I am a shepard along with Tanner and my father, Peter. We have fun. I have my lines memorized. I don't know if I can say that about everyone else. Let's just say I whisper other people's lines to them. Since my 13th birthday I have seen many movies, but the best was The Dark Knight. Wolverine was a good one, but they totaly messed up Deadpool. I have dinnerbut remind me to post again C Ya -Garrett Urmston ( El Tigre de Pantelontes) 

Student Council; Three Years Maybe???

HEllO WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!

after my previous post on July 12,2009, i noticed that most of you posted one or two posts and then jumped right back to your stupid Facebook and aTwitter. Lame-o's. since July 12 i have......

Been to scout camp. Fun small boat sailing. Saw a deer. that's about it.

Came home from scout camp to two juvenile kids calling themselves Melanie and Talmage watching Marley and Me. But, i also was surrounded by pizza, soda, Reese's, and love!!!!!!!!!!

Next day went to the city swim meet for my team McMurtrey 1. Although not doing so amazing myself, my team was awesome taking first place the second year in a row. Coaches were dumb. They coached because it was their job. My old coach coached us the year after we got last place, which she coached also. great coach.

My brother purchased Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Worth buying twice.

Went fishing with scouts. Caught the first fish of my life. gutted the first fish of my life. ate the first fish i ever caught and gutted. Very good. Next day i caught another one. then we went home.

Went back to school. I like most of my teachers, but dislike some. Old childhood friend of my dad, Mr. Lamb, is my history teacher cool guy.


That's about it so I'll see ya next time!!!!!!!!!!!

This was posted with furied eyebrows.

you know, people that I have relation to or I know have not been posting. I really don't post just because, I do it so other people will post. I really just have this blog so I can be close to my relatives. But, since facebook is soooo important, there's absolutely no reason at all to post on blogs, because people who use blogs are soooo last year, and facebook is the cool way to talk to people. People who don't have facebooks should get one because eeeeeveryone has one.

Posting on an Ipod

Well I am posting on an Ipod touch from the couch in my living room. It is so awesome!!!!!!!! It took me awhile to figure it out, but I got wi to. I am stoked for the family reunion. See you all at Leo Corrio.

LA

The lakers are champions...

DTV: A Small Step Toward Communism

Digital television is a step toward communism. All the same kind of telivision!!!! Anyway, there are conspiarecies that the dtv box has a video camera and mike hidden inside it. There are two channels that we get as of Saturday; 34, some black and white show was on, and 58 fox. You know the coupons that you can get? Those are tax payer coupons. We paid for those. I am proud to be an American. I think we need to go back to the way we used to be, as said in America the Beautiful, "..more than self, their country loved, and mercy more than life. -Garrett

If you have seen a musical with a green witch...

Check this riddle out if you are a wicked fan. That means you Aunt Jill.

This is a series of riddles, whose answers all have a relation to each other. Answer the riddles to find the relation.

Riddle 1:

I am a bond that is hard to break,
And you can have one of me with anyone,
as long as you remain kind and friendly.

Riddle 2:

I was born of a person,
who shares their name with a weapon.
They called America the golden land,
But I'm the one with the street of gold.
I have 4 regions,
North, South, East, and West.

Riddle 3:

I arrive when one must play along with something that they don't agree with.
When one fights the higher power,
I am there.

Riddle 4:

If I want to,
I can fight the science textbook.
People want my power,
yet instead of revering me,
they might kill me.





ANSWER DO NOT READ THIS UNTIL YOU HAVE READ THE RIDDLE!!




Answer
They all relate to the musical Wicked.
The answers to the riddles are, in order: friendship, the Land of Oz, rebellion, witches.

Friendship, once it's made, is hard to sever, and you can be friends with any person, as long you remain friendly.

The land of Oz was created by L. Frank Baum, which is pronounced like the weapon that one throws and it explodes. It also possess the famous Yellow Brick Road. Oz is typically broken up into its four regions, which if you read other Oz books or the novel by Gregory Maguire on which Wicked was based,
you'd know were called (starting North and going counter clockwise) Gillikin, Munchkinland, Quadling Country, and the Vinkus.

People rebel when they are forced to deal with something they find wrong.
People rebel against the higher power that is making them go along with the situation that they find wrong.

A witch can defy the laws of nature, which would be written in a science textbook. Most people want the power to magically do whatever they can't do, and yet most recorded "witch" encounters stated that the witches were evil and should be killed.
Hide

I'm outta there

I am free!! Although 7th grade was horrible, you only go through it once so i hade a few good memories. I rember some kid would always come out of the mile the first day because his mom was a dean and she would write him the P.E. excuse. He got out of one for having a "cough". He had to curl his lip into his mouth just to get a cough out. he also broke his pinky so he "couldn't" write or run the mile. Anyway,I am free at last. BYE!

Hey!! Look at this!!

Well, I was looking through my pictures and I did some cropping and popping of me here is something. They are from El Capitan 06.
The one that shows me drinking I call "chug". It was one of the challenges.







Well the one running in water reminds me of the face of kobe after a three point shot 40 seconds left in a game.




This one i made it so that it looks like mason is in love with me. Garett and a water baloon.



Well this one is my favorite. we had to take pictures and in guess i wanted to go out and run around but of course i had to take pictures. so i decided to get back and struck a pose similar to the movie of 2006, napolean dynamite. This one is dubbed uncle rico.

All should be taking heed of this....

Well what's up? I am just a little annoyed (sarcasm, i know by typing this you cannot hear the tone in my voice, I am, in fact, greatly annoyed) by the texting in our country. I think we should all be like Creed Braton from the office,"What's a text?" That was from the one episode after the super bowl. Any way , i will now conduct the rest of this in the language of text. Bt srsly, y do smny pple txt like ths? It is so annying!! Ah, i cant do it! I can't type like this!! any way, right now the school year is almost over. I have may 18 through may 22, and then a weekend and memorial day. then may 26 through may 29 in which , at least, 27 and 28 i get out an hour early and the 29 i get out at 11:55. well now i won't have any tech class, which might have been the best elective ever. I programmed choose your own adventure games and i programmed animated games. Next year i am being a teacher's aide. the teacher is really funny and cool, and he is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He is Mr. K, or Mr. Krauchyk( hoped i spelled it right). Right now in Mr. K's class we are taking a college course called The 5000 Year Leap. I talks about the principles of the constitution, and is helping me see what the government is screwing over. Anyway, I can't wait for summer so i can get out of 7th grade, aka the fiery pit ( if you know what i mean ). I can't wait to see all of you that don't live in Bakersfield. well bye.

Well, i have to say....

I encourage everyone to read the article on My aunt Amy's blog... I have to say it is really right, and i know that sounds weird, but it's true. I have to say that i am so glad i am not an adult. There is so much responsibility. I know life is easier as a kid. I know I am in a state of being that is not as hard as the state of being in which adults live. I have it easier, and am trying to enjoy every moment of kid hood. well anyway i went on a camporall with a bunch of scouts. it was fun. i have school most of the time. I have to say so many things, yet i suppress it because of politeness and law. I have to say that we have so many opportunities that are ignored, or are ruined, wasted, and destroyed because of bad attitudes. I have to say that many look at life and see that it may have become worse and worse, but i have to say that this makes other things better and better, and i have to say that if we see this good that this life may not be as bad at it looks . I have to say that people see the bad things and say"that's bad"and yet we do nothing about it. I have to say that we need to take charge, change things, make things better. As Swift said, "For what use of freedom of thought if it does not produce freedom of action." I have to ask why oh why do we sit back and do nothing when there is everything to do. I have to say that when a lot of children say "i am bored" they would rather mush their brain on TV or video games, instead of reading a book or something educational. I have to say that some habits should be replaced by old habits. I have to say that most are smart Alecs. In the words a man" we think our fathers are fools, so we become wise. I wonder what our wiser children will say to us". I have to say that we need betterness.-garrett urmston.l

Come on!

Well, I think people have given up. No one besides me hardly even posts any more. Cooper is not even telling me why he is only wwriting one sentence. some of the people who used to blog every day are hardly bloogging each month. I think I know why. Facebook is kiilin us! Jordan, who is in paraguay is writing the longest, Come on, people. Use ythe brain.

Are you serious?

Le Miserabe (or something spelled like that)

Well, friday, march 13 I went and saw The High School Production of Le Miserab, pronounced Lay Miserab, don't know how to spell it. It was great. My brother did awesome. He got ran Over by a cart (in the play)!! well it was awesome and it was the best and it was awesome and it was better than any other play and it was awesome and cool and, plus, it was mormon infested, meaning there were a lot of mormons in it and I knew them and porter's friend was in it and she was probably the best actor behind tanner and tanner was like a wine-o in the play but the botttle he was drinking out of was empty and it had contained a mango drink but it was empty during the play so hed didn't drink anything at all unless he drank something during the intermission but it wasn't alchohlaic,trust me, and he stayed up till like one out with his friends but he dind't drink, trust me, and when I say didn'tr drink i mean he didn't drink alchohal he probably drank root beer and this is probably the longest run on senctence ever and i want to end it but i can't because i've already run on forever and when I say forever i mean for a long time beacuse if i ran on forever i would die so i am going to end it in awhile no i'll end it now,no later and i'll keep talking and talking and talking and when i say talking i mean typing so i'll kepp typing and typing antyping an basketball is better than football and i am awesome and you are not stupid but you are for reading this far but not really someone count these letters and tell tem to me or porter because i am garrett not porter for if i were porter than i would be sixteen instead of twelve and right now it is six fifty six so i will type until seven o'clock for that is the time i will stop typing and i will not stop typing not even at six fifty nine which will be the time in a couple of seconds and i am cool so remeber thatand also remeber to see if president obama is doing a good job and tell me this better be a world record because i have been typing forever and when i say forever i mean for a long time it is seven, tell me the number of letters bye, says me, garrett, bye.

To the Right You Can See...

That long ol' thing to the right is my taxonomic key sheet. You should try it out.

Garrett Urmston

My Poem

The following is a poem written by Garrett Urmston, who is almost at a shakespearean level of poetry; By Garrett Urmston
The Tale of Scott

A man once lived in Spain.
I am about to tell you his name.
His name happened to be Scott.
He moved away,
And then they say,
He smoked a whole bunch of pot.

The next morning he knew he was wrong.
So he became a professional player of ping-pong.
To teach every single kid
To nut use drugs,
To not put their fingers in sockets for plugs,
For that was the wrong that he did.

He then went to China, and entered a tournament of Champs.
When it got dark they lit some lamps,
Suddenly, all the lights went out
And everyone, as loud as they could, screamed.
But all the players, together, teamed,
To make everyone not pout.

They entered a cabin through its door,
Even though it looked very, very, poor,
And they found matches and took them.
Then the sky turned overcast,
So the players took off fast,
But one of them tripped on a stem.

“You go ahead I’ll get him,” Scott said,
Then he went to find the man, Ted.
Scott ran like a ferret,
He found Ted, the man
But Scott, into another man, ran
Whose name happened to be Garrett

Scott said, “Hello, how are you?”
Garrett said “I feel like poo.”
Then Ted said “Hey, help me!”
So the two men picked Ted up with the fireman’s carry.
No one was marry,
No one was filled with glee.

Then they got back, including Scott, the hero,
He was no longer a zero,
And with this fact Scott gleamed.
He saved Ted
Who went to bed,
And Scott finally felt esteemed.

I know its awesome.

blah blah blah

????????????????????????????????????????

no, this is not the ? from lost.some people have been wondering who writes what? Porter Quotes the office and I usually do the rest. garrett urmston.

Morman Champenge; The Fizzy Stuff

Every one knows, or hopefully knows, that I am in love with Mart & Nelly's Sparkling Cider. It makes every special meal incredible!! My dream is being sponsored by Mart & Nelly's and/or, more of the and, Reese's or red lobster. any way, we had some fizzy stuff lat night for our steak, potato, salad, shrimp, surf to turf valentine's dinner. V day is cool when you are not in a relationship/ when you are a kid. Garrett Urmston

The Office

My favorite character is Andy... Unfortunatey most of these are way funnier when you actually hear it...

I live to frolf.

Sabateur! Sabateur! I'm going to kill you for real. This game...the game is over, I'm really going to shoot you!

I really Schruted it.

Next up, Jim.

So, yesterday Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot. Which is unfortunate, because it turns out that Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs.

They might not have to downsize our branch. And I could work here for years... and years... and... years.

Do we all have a copy of Threat Level: Midnight by Michael Scott?
I want to clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman Grill.

Dwight Schrute

Dang it, he put my stapler in Jell-O again!

Pam: [during a role-playing exercise] Okay, if I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe..not be a very good driver.Dwight Schrute: [role playing as an Asian] Aw, man! I'm a woman?

In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, 'Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me. I'm dead.' Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead.

The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition won't receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff. Count Choculitis....Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?

Thank God. It was nice of him to offer, but I live in a 9-bedroom farmhouse. I have my own crossbow range. It’s the perfect situation for me, although two bathrooms would have been nice. We just have the one...and that's out under the porch.

A 30-year mortgage at Michael’s age essentially means that he’s buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people.

I have been Michael’s number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We’re like one of those classic famous teams. He’s like Mozart and I’m like...Mozart's friend. No. I’m like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like...Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart? You’re gonna get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy.

[indicating his purple belt] This is not a toy, this is a message to the entire office so that everyone can see I can physically dominate them.
Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets Christmas.

Dwight Schrute: ["steering" the ship] Don't worry Michael, I'm taking us to shore!
Michael Scott: It's a fake wheel, dummy!

I was the youngest pilot in Pan Am history. When I was four, the pilot let me ride in the cockpit and fly the plane with him. And I was four, and I was great and I would have landed it, but my dad wanted us to go back to our seats.

There are several ways to tell if a perp is lying...The liar will avoid direct eye contact. The liar will cover part of his or her face with his hand, especially the mouth. The liar will perspire. Unfortunately I spoke to Oscar on the phone so none of this is useful.

As a volunteer Sheriff's Deputy I've been doing surveillance for years. One time I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me, so I tailed her for six nights straight. Turns out.. she was. With a couple of guys, actually... so. Mystery solved. As a volunteer Sheriff's Deputy I've been doing surveillance for years. One time I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me, so I tailed her for six nights straight. Turns out.. she was. With a couple of guys, actually... so. Mystery solved.

Oh man! You are so busted! Ice skates... shopping bags... I think I know what's going on here. You weren't sick at all!

Remember on Lost when they meet "the Others"?
BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY! [pause] Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation - which everyone finds during the day - how long we have been striving for greatness? [bangs fist] Not only the years we've been at war – the war of work – but from the moment as a child, when we realize the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle [bangs fists again] a never-ending fight, I say to you [bangs again] and you will understand that it is a privilege to fight. WE ARE WARRIORS! [applause] Salesmen of north-eastern Pennsylvania, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. [even bigger applause as Dwight gives a horrible sounding laugh] No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself. Some people will tell you salesman is a bad word. They’ll conjure up images of used car dealers, and door to door charlatans. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, salesman – and women – of the world... unite! We must never acquiesce, for it is together... TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND...Audience: ...FOR IT IS TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL!
I like the people that I work with, generally. With four exceptions.

And I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff's deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven't.

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffle bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?

Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.

When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.
When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

Will Ryan become a loser, slacker like Jim or will he join the Dwight Army of Champions?
When you become close with someone, you develop a kind of sixth sense. You can read their moods like a book. And right now, the title of Michael's book is.. "Something Weird Is Going On...colon...What Did Jan Say? The Michael Scott Story...by Michael Scott. With Dwight Schrute."


Michael

I was shocked when he told me he was transferring to Samford. It's like with fireman, you don't leave your brothers behind. Even if you find out that there is a better fire in Connecticut.
I love inside jokes. I'd like to be a part of one some day.
I lost Ed Truck... and it feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears... and at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer... and then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone... and I'm crying, and nobody can hear me, because I'm terribly, terribly... terribly alone.
don't understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn't even work here.

He leaves work, he's on his way home. WHAM, his cappa is detated from his head.
If I can get them depressed, then I'll have done my job.
Society teaches us that, having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.

Michael Scott: [While eating a pretzel] It tastes so good in my mouth.Stanley: That's what she said. [He and Michael laugh]

Indians do not eat monkey brains! And if they do... sign me up! Because I am sure that they are very tasty and nutritional.

I love the people here, and if there's one thing I don't really care for, its that they can be terribly terribly ignorant about other cultures. And I don't want them embarassing me in front of my girlfriend, Carol.
It's over. We are screwed. Dunder Mifflin Scranton is being shut down.
My branch is absorbing the Stamford branch. Or as I like to put it, my family is doubling in size.
[To Martin Nash, who is black] Follow me, I will show you where all the slaves work. Uh, not...
This is an orientation, not a bore-ientation.
You guys suck! You can never pull together as one and revenge us. That is why you suck!"
Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I just wish Josh had made a more progressive choice. Like a white guy. Who went to prison for...polluting a black guy's lake.
Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly...she's not yo' ho no mo'.

Re-run

So i just thought i'd reuse the post from earlier about Michael Scott. I'll have another one with newer quotes later.

Michael Scott:

"Abraham Lincoln once said that, 'If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North,' and these are the principles I carry with me in the workplace."

"I think if I was allergic to dairy I'd kill myself."

"Nobody likes beets, Dwight! Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy."

"I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and I have worms."

"Awesome Blossom, extra awesome."

"Think about this, what is the most exciting thing that can happen on TV or in movies, or in real-life? Somebody has a gun. That's why I always start with a gun, because you can't top it. You just can't."

"The rules of Shotgun are very simple and very clear. The first person to shout Shotgun when you're in sight of the car gets the front seat. That's how the game is played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion."

"You may look around and see two groups here; white collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar-blind."

"Scranton is great, but New York, is like Scranton on acid. No, on speed. Nah. On steroids."

"Pam, I'm public speaking, so please stop public interrupting me."

"I'm very sorry, I did not know you were wearing a hearing aid. I thought you were just speaking abnormally."

Mormal... Blah...

So for those of you who don't know, mormal is like a mormon prom. I think it was invented by mothers who don't have daughters, mothers like my mom. Or maybe by mothers of girls who couldn't get dates. I don't know. Luckily i missed last year since i was not sixteen. Mason was not as fortunate. Anyway, its amazing how anal everyone gets over such a stupid event. I'm not sure how, but it became a big deal at some point. So mothers of teenage sons... please, i implore you... leave them alone. Let them live their lives. They won't be deprived of some important part of growing up... They will be fine... I understand if you make them go.. but don't make them ask a girl in a cute (aka stupid and pointless) way. And don't compare it to doing service because that's really rude.. I guess that's all.